The Ironic Story Behind My Sweet Bessie Van
I recently posted the following photograph and text on FaceBook about the towing-away of my family's 20-year-old van, christened "Bessie" (upon her baptism with household paint).
"Our sweet Bessie van left us tonight. We bought her in 2002 just after we returned from Australia, when neither of us had jobs and our first born wasn’t even 1 year old. Bessie has paintings all over her from our kids, their/our friends, and me (I used to carry paint in the van in case anyone wanted to add to our moving canvas). Our neighbors came out to say goodbye too. My husband was relieved to see her go (to wUNC, likely for parts), but I’m just sad. That van embodies so many memories and turning points in our lives. Goodbye Bessie. You were good to us."
From the resulting comments, it's clear that people see Bessie as an indication of my laid-backed-ness. But I can assure you that, no matter how I try, I am not laid back.
Here's the *real* story behind my Bessie Van:
Eight to ten years ago, back when I lived in a South Durham Home Owner's Association (HOA), my neighbor across the street complained about the chalk drawings on our driveway, then my Obama signs, then our vegetable garden - all of which resulted in violation letters and my presence before the HOA board of directors to defend my actions. The board rescinded their violation notices for the chalk drawings and political signs (freedom of speech and all), but they drew the line at our vegetable garden, which was visible from the street. Eventually, the board compromised by requiring, in rather broad terms, that I plant aesthetically pleasing bushes to "shield" our vegetable garden from street view. I published a newspaper article about the experience.
Of course, such "shielding" plants take time to establish themselves and grow to full height; and, as I'd refused to plant the fast-growing, everywhere-in-America (Leyland) Cypress pines the board had wanted, I knew my vegetable garden would soon be at risk again.
My neighbor's complaints continued. What's worse, she joined the Architectural/Grounds Committee and began recruiting allies.
"You just don't understand the way an HOA works," neighbors told me on more than one occasion, once during an (annual) HOA meeting.
I was fed up with having to defend my use of my property against my neighbor's sterile aesthetic preferences. So when 1) our mechanic advised us to keep the van rather than trade her in and 2) I confirmed that HOA's have no control over the way a homeowner's titled, registered, and insured car is painted, I got out all our old house paint so the kids and I could paint the van however we wanted. Bessie was born.
We invited neighborhood friends (child and adult) and anyone who visited us to leave their mark on old Bessie. I even left paint in the van, in case whoever we visited wanted to join the fun.
Friends told me my neighbor across the street was livid, which was, of course, my intention.
One to two years later, we received another citation from our HOA: the Camellia and Banana bushes I'd installed to "shield" my edible garden from street view had not grown to "sufficient height" to satisfy the Architectural Committee and the HOA. We now faced fines or replacing our uniquely chosen, now established and healthy plants with fast-growing, unsightly (to us) evergreens that would quickly shield the area from the sun that caused us to plant our vegetable garden there in the first place (!).
I vented my frustrations on a local email list serve, and Danny Hooley ended up writing an article for the Independent Weekly on the matter, questioning whether HOA's have too much power:
https://indyweek.com/news/durham/north-carolina-give-homeowners-associations-much-power/.
The HOA backed off, once again demonstrating the power of the press.
The story behind Bessie's creation is an ironically funny one, and it makes for good party conversation. But the events preceding and following our decision to turn our old van into a moving and hard-to-miss canvas caused a lot of stress - not just for my family and me, but for my neighbor across the street (who clearly had enough problems), the neighbors who chimed in on both sides of the controversy, and the volunteers on my HOA's Architectural/Grounds Committee and Board of Directors.
After the Independent Weekly article came out, we planted a couple of tall grasses, and the HOA granted us at least another year's reprieve. Not long after that, my neighbor across the street moved (apparently to a large and very private plot of land in the country). Shortly after she moved, my family moved as well - to a neighborhood downtown that was determinedly *not* in an HOA.
I still have friends in my old neighborhood, and I drive by my old house from time to time. The yard looks pretty much like it did when we bought the place - no signs of the vegetable garden we fought so hard to plant and keep.
Was all that stress worth it? I don't know.
But we got Bessie out of it. And she has her own story: https://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/community/durham-news/dn-opinion/article10035881.html.
Of Note: The year we received the violation notice for our sidewalk chalk drawings, I was awarded one of the Durham Interneighborhood Council's annual "Neighborhood Hero" awards - in part for our driveway chalk drawings, which creatively slowed traffic at the intersection in front of our house. This experience lead to my first children's book, I Chalk.
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